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• If you can't find your glasses, it's probably because you don't have them on.
• You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail.
  Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them....
• You can always tell the Christmas season is here when you start getting incredibly dense, tinfoil-and-ribbon- wrapped lumps in the mail.
  Fruitcakes make ideal gifts because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them....
• It's probably a bad day when, you find a dead fish in your underwear.
• FORTUNE'S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REAL-LIFE SCIENCE FICTION
  #6 What to do... if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?...
• Be kind to your inferiors, if you can find any.
• Friends, n: People who borrow your books and set wet glasses on them.
  People who know you well, but like you anyway....
• If you have never failed, you probably will not succeed, because even if you do, you won't know it.