Related:

• They do say, Mrs M., that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain.
  They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover....
• Deteriorata: Go placidly amid the noise and waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
  Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep....
• Unobfuscated Perl (#2) A rogue group of Perl hackers has presented a plan to add a "use really_goddamn_strict" pragma that would enforce readability and UNobfuscation.
  With this pragma in force, the Perl compiler might say...
• Have you seen the fast-food version of a liquid? A triple-thick shake?
  You need an industrial suction pump to get it up the straw....
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... You wouldn't understand. You ask too many questions....
• All you have to do to see the accuracy of my thesis is look around you.
  Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs - bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen, auditors, secretaries of defense - and you'll realize they all dress the same way, essentially the way the mannequins in the Sears menswear department dress....
• In the old days you didn't ask their sexual history, you'd just say, "Are you a mammal?
  Now you take her home and you say, "Where do I set up the lab?" -- John Riggi...
• Minister, have you finished with that re-drafted re-draft of the draft proposal yet?
  No Humphrey, do you need it back? Yes minister, I'm afraid it needs re-drafting!...
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... Good children always obey. Quit acting so childish....