Related:

• My whole life is a movie--it's just that there are no dissolves.
  I have to live every agonizing moment of it--my life needs editing....
• Grampa: All right, son, I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
  Homer: Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family, I'd be honored if you came to live with us....
• Brad: Folks, I'm often asked about my qualifications.
  Well, I may not have a lot of "credentials" or "training", but I tell you one thing...
• Hello. This is Ron's answering machine, Marvin, and I'm SO depressed.
  I have 50,000 times the memory capacity of my owner, but all I get to do is answer the phone....
• All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
  Jane Wagne...
• If I had my life to live over again, I'd be a plumber. -- Albert Einstei
• The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
  All my life I said I wanted to be someone...I can see now that I should have been more specific....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....