Related:

• I passed a car dealership. I looked in the window and I saw the most beautiful cars.
  And a fellow came out and said, "Come on in, they're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!...
• I love New York City. I just got into town and I wanted to get on the subway.
  I asked a man, "I'd like to get on the subway. How do I get underground?...
• I came; I saw; I f.cked up Large cats can be dangerous, but a little pussy never hurt anyone.
• Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
  Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
• She was asking her insurance agent: 'If I were to take out a $
  250,000 insurance policy on my husband and he should die the next day, what would I get?...
• I thought I saw a Puddy Cat.....
• I came; I saw; I fucked up
• I came; I saw; I fucked up.
• I came, I saw, I screwed up.