Related:

• Bart: In English class I did the best. Army: In English class I did the best.
  Bart: Because I cheated on the test. Army: Because I cheated on the test....
• Chief of the Army. -- Napoleon I [Napoleon Bonaparte], 1821.
• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• All I can think of is a platter of organic PRUNE CRISPS being trampled by an army of swarthy, Italian LOUNGE SINGERS .
  .....
• Bart: I got a B in arithmetic. Army: I got a B in arithmetic.
  Bart: Would have got an A but I was sick. Army: Would have got an A but I was sick....
• Soviet power is a new type of state in which there is no bureaucracy, no police, no standing army.
  -- V. I. Lenin (1870-1924)...
• I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world.
  He'd get right up next to your face and yell, and if you didn't have the right answers, mister, you'd be peeling potatoes or chainging the latrine....
• When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me eighty-five dollars.
  That's why in the Navy the captain goes down with the ship. -- Dick Gregory...