Related:

• Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied.
  It's my civic duty and I like whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile....
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....
• I just know I was meant to be born rich--somebody up there must have fouled up the paperwork
• Tony: I am afraid the time has come for you to pay us.
  Krusty: Look, I'm cleaned out. Just take the Clown College....
• Who are you? said the caterpiller. Alice replied rather shyly
  I -- I hardly know, Sir, just at present -- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then....
• Are you a parent? Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to say in those awkward situations?
  Worry no more... When are you going to grow up?...
• I don't know where we come from, Don't know where we're going to, And if all this should have a reason, We would be the last to know.
  So let's just hope there is a promised land, And until then, ....
• I was born by Caesarian section...but not so you'd notice.
  It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. -- Steven Wrigh...
• Bart: [in pain] Why? Jessica: I'm sorry, Bart. You know my parents can't find out about us.
  And besides, if it's secret, it's even more exciting....