Related:

• FRANKALMOIGNE, n. The tenure by which a religious corporation holds lands on condition of praying for the soul of the donor.
  In mediaeval times many of the wealthiest fraternities obtained their estates in this simple and cheap manner, and once when Henry VIII of England sent an officer to confiscate certain vast possessions which a fraternity of monks held by frankalmoigne, "What!...
• LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder.
  This disease, like _caries_ and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditio...
• DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of the disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned.
  The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation....
• FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said -- "That definition's just.
  The boy said naught but through instead, Remembering his pounded head...
• HEMP, n. A plant from whose fibrous bark is made an article of neckwear which is frequently put on after public speaking in the open air and prevents the wearer from taking cold.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BIGAMY, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
  A busy man complained one day: "I get no time!...