Related:

• I love those slow-talking Southern girls. I was out with a Southern girl last night, took her so long to tell me she wasn't that kind of girl, she was.
  -- Woody Woodbury...
• I spent last night in the arms of a girl in Louisiana.
• When I meet an Englishman and he speaks with that funny accent, I'd never say, "You're a liar.
  But ... I believe that if you wake an Englishman in the middle of the night, he'll speak just like us....
• I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs.
  And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. No, go ahead....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I met this girl very aggressively ... I just walked up to her and I said, "Who are you?
  I have to know who you are!" It's a good opener, but you can't sustain that level of excitement....
• Lisa: A hush falls over the general assembly as Stacy approaches the podium to deliver what will no doubt be a stirring and memorable address.
  [pulls Stacy's cord] Stacy: I wish they taught shopping in school!...
• Did you hear about the Eskimo girl who spent the night with her boyfriend and next morning found she was six months pregnant.
• Hello, friend! You say things aren't going too well?
  You say you have a date with your favorite girl when it starts raining so hard you can't see?...