Related:

• There was this New Yorker that had a lifelong ambition to be an Texan.
  Fortunately, he had an Texan friend and went to him for advice....
• Marge: Do you think you could be nice enough to your sister, Bart?
  Bart: Oh yeah, easy. Marge: You do love her don't you?...
• Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the end: the end of dog racing.
  Everyone: Boo! Marge: I think they're in love....
• A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.
  He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line....
• Homer: You did _what_?! Bart: I borrowed your nail clipper.
  What's the big deal? Homer: Nothing. I'm just a little edgy since your mother told me she wants to be a cop....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Homer: [awkwardly] Uh...so, let's have a conversation.
  Um...I think we'll find we have very little in common....
• I don't like the idea that people can call you in your car.
  I think there's news you shouldn't get at sixty miles per hour....
• Silverman draws a standard dog] Myers: No, no, no!
  He was supposed to have _attitude_. Silverman: Um....