Related:

• I think all cars should have car phones in 'em and their license plates should be their phone number.
  So you can call 'em up and tell 'em to get the hell out of the way....
• A feed salesman is on his way to a farm. As he's driving along at forty m.
  p.h., he looks out his car window and sees a three-legged chicken running alongside him, keeping pace with his car....
• Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
  Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
• Tony: OK, wherever Krusty's gone, we'll find him. Legs, you check out the East Side.
  Louie, Rome and Budapest. Tell the boys I want a total world search....
• I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
  I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out....
• Computer generated voices:) 1: Hello, there are no real people here to answer the phone right now.
  2: Yeah, nobody but us machines! 1: Right, just us machines, but don't hang up!...
• Nimoy: And so, from this simple man came the proof that we are not alone in the universe.
  I'm Leonard Nimoy. Good night. Teenager: [off-camera] Uh, Mr....
• Martin: Aw, a car impound lot: the impenetrable fortress of suburbia!
  Milhouse: We'll never get the tree back now. Ba...
• Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me.
  I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty- five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die....