Related:

• Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.
  There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior....
• Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding.
  If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• There is no way to get a grip on a dog so that you can give it a legitimate hug.
  You wind up hugging it around some delicate reproductive organ ....
• Take away the right to say 'fuck' and you take away the right to say 'fuck the government.
  ' -- Lenny Bruce...
• UNIX Trix For those of you in the reseller business, here is a helpful tip that will save your support staff a few hours of precious time.
  Before you send your next machine out to an untrained client, change the permissions on /etc/passwd to 666 and make sure there is a copy somewhere on the disk....
• Alimony is having to say you're sorry once a month.
• A bit crooked, Bruce. Where's Bruce?
• The Guy on the Right Doesn't Stand a Chance The guy on the right has the Osborne 1, a fully functional computer system in a portable package the size of a briefcase.
  The guy on the left has an Uzi submachine gun concealed in his attache case....