Related:

• I saw Lassie. It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid never spoke.
  I mean, he could roll over and all that, but did that deserve a series?...
• Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
  Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
• One evening he spoke. Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her, he allowed his soul to be heard.
  My darling, anything you wish, anything I am, anything I can ever be....
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else....
• While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to his assistant and whispered, "Did you ever hear of why the sea is salt?
  "Why the sea is salt?" whispered back the assistant....
• Moe: Geez, Homer. I never seen a guy stand up to that kind of punishment.
  I mean, you took a three-man pounding and didn't even fall down....
• aga n. [WPI] A cuspy but bogus raving story about N random broken people.
  Here is a classic example of the saga form, as told by Guy L....
• 1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
  2. Isaac Newton's birthday. 3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook....
• They spend years searching for their natural parents, convinced their parents will be happy to see them.
  I mean, really, can you imagine someone being happy to see an orphan?...