Related:

• Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight?
  Also what's funny is how we do this every night. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If I ever do a book on the Amazon, I hope I am able to bring a certain lightheartedness to the subject, in a way that tell the reader we are going to have fun with this thing.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I think a cute movie idea would be about a parrot who is raised by eagles.
  It would be cute because the parrot can't seem to act like an eagle....
• I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president.
  Then somehow I get myself elected president. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....
• Milhouse: Wait! How about a fair? Not just a county fair, not just a Europe fair, but a World's fair -- the World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee.
  Bart: Keep reading. Milhouse: The Hungarians have built a giant motorized Rubik's cube, and the fair's symbol is the SunSphere, which sits atop a 266- foot tall steel shaft....
• We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing.
  But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town....
• The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, "Go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If the Vikings were around today, they would probably be amazed at how much glow-in-the-dark stuff we have, and how we take so much of it for granted.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...