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• I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about i
  but when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind...
• To write a good love-letter you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and end without knowing what you have written.
  -- Rousseau (And then when she never speaks to you again, you'll wonder why you listened to this quote....
• There is nothing to write about, you say. Well, then, write and let me know just this,--that there is nothing to write abou
  or tell me in the good old style if you are well. That 's right....
• Moe: Say, Barn, uh, remember when I said I'd have to send away to NASA to calculate your bar tab?
  Barney: Oh ho, oh yeah, you had a good laugh, Moe....
• A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card games.
  "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife," he said....
• We have fun--that's what I like about bowling. You can have fun even if you stink, unlike in, say, tennis.
  Every decade or so, I attempt to play tennis, and it always consists of thirty-seven seconds of actually hitting the ball and two hours of yelling, "Where did the ball go?...
• Take away the right to say 'fuck' and you take away the right to say 'fuck the government.
  ' -- Lenny Bruce...
• Uh, Josh, you have to do a QC before you say "go away" for it to be a banishing.
• Think much, speak little, and write less. However, if you are going to write
  it is well to write what you think people think you think rather than what you think, because people have no idea what you think, and likely as not, are uninterested....