Related:

• I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
  -- Henny Youngma...
• My boy is mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.
  Well, only last Christmas I gave him a B-B gun and he gave me a sweatshirt with a bulls-eye on the back....
• Casey came home from seeing the doctor looking very worried.
  His wife said, "What's the problem?" He said, "The doctor told me I have to take a pill every day for the rest of my life....
• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• I went to the doctor last week. He told me to take all my clothes off.
  Then he said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What color?" -- Ken Dodd...
• My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life.
  I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. -- Milton Berlele...
• My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
  Unless there are three other people." -- Orson Welle...
• My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
  Unless there are three other people. -- Orson Welle...