Related:

• I said, I've broken my arm in several places. He said, Don't go to those places.
  -- [Possibly Henry Youngman?]...
• I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He gave me a gun!
• I broke up with my psychiatrist. I told him I had suicidal tendencies.
  He told me from now on I had to pay in advance. -- Rodney Dangerfield...
• While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -- Henny Youngma
• I went to the doctor last week. He told me to take all my clothes off.
  Then he said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What color?" -- Ken Dodd...
• My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life.
  I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. -- Milton Berlele...
• My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people
  hose who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group...
• My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people
  hose who do the work and those who take the credit....
• I went to the bank and went over my savings. I found out I have all the money that I'll ever need.
  If I die tomorrow. -- Henny Youngma...