Related:

• All of a sudden I noticed she was saying my daughter, my son, my silver, my furniture, my house, and your friends, your troubles, your worries, your problems, and your fault.
  -- H. Marti...
• A father gave his teen-age daughter an untrained pedigreed pup for her birthday.
  An hour later, when wandered through the house, he found her looking at a puddle in the center of the kitchen....
• It's not my FAULT.
• It's morning in An Tir, and it's not my fault!
• Have you seen my mind? It wandered again. [SIGH]
• I will not cheat on my wife. Because I love my house. -- Chas Elstne
• My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety dollars.
  He screamed, "For what, ninety dollars?" The desk clerk said, "For room and board, sir....
• America's favorite whine: "It's not my fault!
• My other wife is beautiful.