Related:

• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• Marge: What's wrong, Homie? Homer: [sighs] I went to the record store today and they were playing all that music I've never heard of.
  It was like the store had gone crazy. Marge...
• A man drove me to drink. I never properly thanked him.
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
• Jackie: And here's a picture of me getting arrested for indecent exposure.
  It was the most embarrassing day of my life. Abe...
• One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
  .. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Am I crazy to expect my deposit back
• Teacher: Okay. Now, everyone take out your safety pencil and a circle of paper.
  This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "A"....