Related:

• A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it.
  That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit....
• If I were to select a jack-booted group of fascists who are perhaps as large a danger to American society as I could pick today, I would pick BATF [the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms].
  -- U.S. Representative John Dingell, 1980...
• A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
• Anything else, sir?" asked the attentive bellhop, trying his best to make the lady and gentleman comfortable in their penthouse suite in the posh hotel.
  "No. No, thank you," replied the gentleman. "Anything for your wife, sir?...
• The following is a letter to the editor of a news magazine.
  "Clearly, the successful use of robots on missions to explore outer space in the past 20 years demonstrates that robots could be increasingly used to perform factory work more effectively, efficiently, and profitably than human factory workers....
• A typical quimmty old hag who spread these vile ruperts was Mrs.
  Weatherby -- a widow by her first husbands. -- John Lenno...
• A gentleman of our days is one who has money enough to do what every fool would do if he could afford i
  hat is, consume without producing. -- George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)...
• Nothing would be done at all, if a man waited 'til he could do so well that no one could find fault with it.
• Lisa: It's not my nature to complain, but so far today we've had three movies, two filmstrips, and an hour and a half of magazine time.
  I just don't feel challenged. Skinner: Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining, furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation....