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• Did you hear that She said she would do anything for a mink coat, she got one, and now she can't button it up.
• I know a girl who broke every date she had--she went out with them. -- Bob Melvi
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• Nothing that's forced can ever be right, If it doesn't come naturally, leave it.
  That's what she said as she turned out the light, And we bent our backs as slaves of the night, Then she lowered her guard and showed me the scars She got from trying to fight Saying, oh, you'd better believe it....
• I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
  She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on....
• My youngest child is the funniest one of the group.
  I had just finished eating and my stomach was swollen from the food that went in it....
• You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me.
  She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and, God bless her soul, she was really onto something....
• You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me.
  She said, "Homer, you're a big disappointment", and God bless her soul, she was really onto something....
• When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise.
  She just stared at me, so I said it again, louder....