Related:

• I guess the joke's on me," she said.
• Marta was watching the football game with me when she said, "You know, most of these sports are based on the idea of one group protecting its territory from invasion by another group.
  Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh. Girls are funny. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much.
  I guess you're not an `afictionado'," she said....
• Tonight, when we were eating dinner, Marta said something that really knocked me for a loop.
  She said, "I love carrots." "Good," I said as I gritted my teeth real hard....
• I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago.
  I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no. -- Woody Alle...
• Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh.
  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me....
• I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy.
  I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me....
• Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait.
  Not me, you. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...