Related:

• I go to work to catch up on my sleep....
• My God, you're talking about a positive mental attitude and you haven't even had your planet demolished today.
  I woke up this morning and thought I'd have a nice relaxed day, do a bit of reading, brush the dog....
• I don't have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
  He was fun when he was a puppy. I named him Stay....
• When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?
  ' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -- Steven Wrigh...
• I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
  Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
• I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff
  hen when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?...
• In the hotel there was a mirror over my bed! I was uneasy going to sleep.
  When I sleep I toss and turn, and when I woke up I thought I saw a naked sky diver coming at me ....
• I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people.
  You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze. -- Anthony Clark...
• And miles to go before I sleep.