Related:

• You can do anything with bayonets except sit on them. -- Camillo di Cavour (1810-1861)
• Once you get people laughing, they're listening and you can tell them almost anything.
  -- Herbert Gardne...
• The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest misery without almost noticing them.
  -- Gunnar Myrdal...
• You know how dumb the average guy is? Well, by definition, half of them are even dumber than THAT.
  -- J.R. "Bob" Dobb...
• Looking for a cool one after a long, dusty ride, the drifter strode into the saloon.
  As he made his way through the crowd to the bar, a man galloped through town screaming, "Big Mike's comin'!...
• Two businessmen were having lunch and they started talking about world problems, high taxes, the cost of living, their families.
  And one of them says very proudly, "I have six boys....
• Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything we allow them short of hanging.
  -- Samuel Johnson America is a large friendly dog in a small room....
• If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.
  -- Lyndon B. Johnson Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off....
• America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.