Related:

• America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room.
  Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. -- Arnold Joseph Toynbee...
• The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.
  -- Jim Samuel...
• Lisa: And now it's time for the Innocence Report with Homer Simpson.
  [holds sign: "Innocence Report"] Homer: Hello....
• How small of all that human hearts endure That part which laws or kings can cause or cure!
  Still to ourselves in every place ensigned Our own felicity we make or find. -- Samuel Johnso...
• What's the difference between the United States and Eastern European countries?
  The United States still has a communist party. -- Johnny Carso...