Related:

• BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
  The man who taketh a steam bath He loseth all the skin he hath, And, for he's boiled a brilliant red, Thinketh to cleanliness he's wed, Forgetting that his lungs he's soiling With dirty vapors of the boiling....
• MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth.
  Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language....
• REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man.
  The pig is taught by sermons and epistles To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles....
• Male, n. A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex.
  The male of the human race is commonly known (to the female) as Mere Man....
• MAIDEN, n. A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and views that madden to crime.
  The genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found....
• HOUSE, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beelte, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus and microbe.
  _House of Correction_, a place of reward for political and personal service, and for the detention of offenders and appropriations....
• COMPROMISE, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have
  and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due....