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• A monk said to Joshu, "Your stone bridge is widely renowned, but coming here I find only a heap of rocks.
  Joshu said, "You see only the stones and not the bridge....
• A student said to the chief monk, "Help me to pacify my mind!
  The chief monk said, "Bring your mind over here and I will pacify it....
• One day it was announced by master Joshu that the young monk Kyogen had reached an enlightened state.
  Much impressed by this news, several of his peers went to speak with him....
• mu /moo/ The correct answer to the classic trick question "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?
  . Assuming that you have no wife or you have never beaten your wife, the answer "yes" is wrong because it implies that you used to beat your wife and then stopped, but "no" is worse because it suggests that you have one and are still beating her....
• mu: /moo/ The correct answer to the classic trick question "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?
  . Assuming that you have no wife or you have never beaten your wife, the answer "yes" is wrong because it implies that you used to beat your wife and then stopped, but "no" is worse because it suggests that you have one and are still beating her....
• Joshu is my favorite Zen Master. It is said that a monk once asked him, To be holy - what is it like?
  Joshu replied, To dump a mountain of shit on a clean plain. -- Disk Sutphe...
• Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
  "Wait a minute. Aren't you a string?" "Well, yes, I am....
• I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox And which you were probably saving for breakfast.
  Forgive me. They were delicious....
• Joshu asked the teacher Nansen, "What is the True Way?
  Nansen answered, "Every way is the true Way." Joshu asked, "Can I study it?...