Related:

• Are you still mad I gave a mohawk to your cat?
• Bipolar, adj.: Refers to someone who has homes in Nome, Alaska, and Buffalo, New York
• We were so poor that we thought new clothes meant someone had died.
• New York's such a wonderful city, but at the library the guy was very rude.
  I said I'd like a card. He said, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York....
• As a boy he dreamed of being a ship's captain, but gave it up when someone explained to him what sharks were .
  .." -- Woody Alle...
• I love New York! * * * No Radio
• Number One: Homer Simpson, for your continuing and baffling desecration of our beloved sacred parchment, you are hereby banished from the stonecutters forever.
  And as a final humiliation, you must walk home naked, dragging behind you the Stone of Shame....