Related:

• I was talking to an Englishman and I said, "It's absolutely remarkable.
  In this day and age, you could fly to New York in six hours....
• I owed my friend George $25. For about three weeks I owed it to him.
  The whole time I had the money on me---he didn't know it....
• I love New York City. I just got into town and I wanted to get on the subway.
  I asked a man, "I'd like to get on the subway. How do I get underground?...
• I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face.
  I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?...
• This guy comes over to my house and says, "I want to read your gas meter.
  I said, "Whatever happened to the classics?" -- Emo Philip...
• I was in Vietnam. So what? I live in New York. Really? Wow. How do you do it? -- Denis Leary
• I love New York! * * * No Radio
• I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates New York. -- Steven Wrigh
• I went to the beach a couple of times in New York City.
  Tough summer out there, but I was pretty excited....