Related:

• Lucky, adj: When you have a wife and a cigarette lighter -- both of which work.
• A clever bluff, Agent N42, but not clever enough. You see, right away I recognized your `pistol' as a cleverly disguised cigarette lighter.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't have a lucky day this year.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.