Related:

• Man, n.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
  His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada....
• Man, n.: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks e is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
  His hief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own pecies, which, however, multiplies with such insistent apidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada....
• MAN: An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.
  His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada....
• Half a loaf is better than a whole one if there is much else.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PATRIOT, n. One to whom the interests of a part seem superior to those of the whole.
  The dupe of statesmen and the tool of conquerors. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Ambrose Bierce, "The Devel's Dictionary
• WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
  It is credited by many of the elder zoologists with a certain vestigial docility acquired in a former state of seclusion, but naturalists of the postsusananthony period, having no knowledge of the seclusion, deny the virtue and declare that such as creation's dawn beheld, it roareth now....
• Noncombatant: A dead Quaker. -- Ambrose Bierce