Related:

• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• Q: How did the elephant get to the top of the oak tree?
  A: He sat on a acorn and waited for spring. Q: But how did he get back down?...
• He had been bitten by a dog, but didn't give it much thought until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to heal.
  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and ordered the dog brought in....
• He was dull in a new way, and that made many people think him GREAT.
  -- Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), on Thomas Grey...
• If Horatio Nelson was in charge of this, he would not have waited for official authorization.
  "Yes, a pretty impulsive fellow, if we are to believe the history books....
• Nothing would be done at all, if a man waited 'til he could do so well that no one could find fault with it.
• The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his money.
  True, working at the hardware store didn't pay much, but he felt it was better than what everybody else did, which was go up to the volcano and collect the gold nuggets it shot out every day....
• We was playin' the Homestead Grays in the city of Pitchburgh.
  Josh [Gibson] comes up in the last of the ninth with a man on and us a run behind....
• The patient went to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor wrote out a prescription for him in his usual illegible writing.
  The patient put it in his pocket, but he forgot to have it filled....