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• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• O slavish man! will you not bear with your own brother, who has God for his Father, as being a son from the same stock, and of the same high descent?
  But if you chance to be placed in some superior station, will you presently set yourself up for a tyrant?...
• Basic ceremony's twenty bucks. Here's your license.
  Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding is on the house....
• The best ideas come from jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. -- David Ogilvie
• Be cautious in your daily affairs.
• I've steered clear of God. He was an incredible sadist.
• Faith: Will the winning essay be... Bubble On, O Melting Pot, Lift High Your Lamp, Green Lady, USA A-OK, or Cesspool on the Potomac?
  Bart: Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! Cesspool! -- Awards ceremony, "Mr....
• While Jack Butler was being dragged away by the Grim Reaper, Jack begged