Related:

• Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don't start thinking of what other words have "under" in them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• Isn't it funny how we'll look out the window at the moon, and then we notice it's not the moon but a streetlight?
  Also what's funny is how we do this every night. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. -- Rudyard Kipling
• Why do the caterpillar and the ant have to be enemies?
  One eats leaves, and the other eats caterpillars....
• People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
  What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair....
• When have the Prophets not been stoned, from Christ down to Wagner?
  Crazy, enthusiastic, or madmen all of them.... Why, my dear friend, what do you mean by complaining of neglect, abuse, scorn?...
• I remember one day I was at Grandpa's farm and I asked him about sex.
  He sort of smiled and said, "Maybe instead of telling you what sex is, why don't we go out to the horse pasture and I'll show you....