Related:

• EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order.
  The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other -- which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in the pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of a dog....
• DEBAUCHEE, n. One who has so earnestly pursued pleasure that he has had the misfortune to overtake it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...