Related:

• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ADHERENT, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Absentee, n.: A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• MERCHANT, n. One engaged in a commercial pursuit. A commercial pursuit is one in which the thing pursued is a dollar.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Misfortune, n.: The kind of fortune that never misses.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary...