Related:

• Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are.
  The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry....
• If you get gloomy, just take an hour off and sit and think how much better this world is than hell.
  Of course, it won't cheer you up if you expect to go there. -- Don Marqui...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . At home, you close all the drapes, take off your clothes and don a pair of swim fins.
• 1. Some folks have it, some don't. 2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.
  3. Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior....
• You know," he added very gravely, "it's one of the most serious things that can possibly happen to one in a battle -- to get one's head cut off.
  -- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking-Gla...
• If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's read by persons who move their lips when the're reading to themselves.
  -- Don Marqui...
• Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me.
  I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty- five years and you pay it back and then -- one day -- you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then -- one day -- you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die....
• It takes a lot of things to prove you are smart, but only one thing to prove you are ignorant.
  -- Don Herold...