Related:

• Kid goes into barber shop and orders his very long hair cut to the roots.
  Older bystander laughingly asks him how much weight he has lost in doing this....
• My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• This article says our congressman has taken money under the table.
  His name has been linked romantically with a lot of different ladies, and he enjoys a frequent nip....
• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better than he does.
  As for the truth about his health: I have asked around about it....
• Stacy: [the doll] My name is Stacy, but you can call me [wolf whistle].
  Stacy: I see exactly what you mean; this is a problem....