Related:

• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Sometimes I...No, I don't. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had my coathangers spayed. -- Steven Wrigh
• I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. -- Steven Wrigh
• I have a switch in my apartment... it doesn't do anything.
  ... Every once in a while, I turn it on and off.......
• I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare. -- Steven Wrigh
• The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven .
  .. I almost went back in time. -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven .
  .. I almost went back in time." -- Steven Wrigh...