Related:

• My cat had puppies, so I spayed the cricket.
• I had amnesia once or twice. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology...the study of milkmen. -- Steven Wrigh
• I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -- Steven Wrigh
• When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
  I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. -- Steven Wrigh
• My views on evolution? I think Darwin was adopted. -- Steven Wright.
• Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
  I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wrigh...