Related:

• I hope you'll think this is funny. A man calls an undertaker and says, "You better make arrangements for a funeral.
  My wife passed away." The undertaker says, "You must be drunk....
• Ahh. You have a practiced hand Commander. Yes, I have my father to thank.
  Your father like to cook? No, he hated it. That's why he left the chore to me....
• Homer: Er, I need another extension on my mortgage payments.
  Manager: I understand that Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer, your credit history is not good....
• Thank you for calling your credit union.
• Hello. Jim Rockford's machine, this is Larry Doheny's machine.
  Will you please have your master call my master at his convenience?...
• Thank you for not smoking.
• Hello? Jim Rockford's machine? This is Larry Dooheany's machine.
  Will you please have your master call my master at his convenience?...
• Looking for a little excitement? Well, you can get a really big charge out of using your credit card just a time or two too often.
• Milhouse: I have nothing to offer you but my love. Bu
  I specifically said, no geeks! Milhouse: But my mom says I'm cool....