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• I got an aunt named Minnie. Weighs 264. When she sits on the chair there's so much of her there--most of her sits on the floor.
  -- Morey Amsterdam...
• There was a young girl named Saphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
  She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?...
• There was a young girl named Sapphire Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
  She said, "It's a sin, But now that it's in, Could you shove it a few inches higher?...
• Naches (rhymes with Bach' us, with "Bach" pronounced like the composer) is what every Jewish parent wants from their children, lots of good returns, good grades, good spouse, good grandchildren.
  So, now that you all understand naches, the joke...
• She was so ugly her mother used to babyfeed her with a slingshot.
• Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard To fetch her poor daughter a dress.
  When she got there, the cupboard was bare And so was her daughter, I guess......
• I was acquainted with a young lady who divorced a guy named Wong.
  Her maiden name was Reilly Watts. Her married name became "Reilly? Watt's Wong?...
• Monica: So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories?
  [Digs her elbow into his hand] No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?...
• She been married so many times she got rice marks all over her face. -- Tom Wai