Related:

• My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
  I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
• As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.
  -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)...
• My wife left me - There is a GOD!
• The baby is great. My wife and I have just started potty training.
  Which I think is important, because when we wanna potty-train the baby we should set an example....
• I do not want to die... until I have faithfully made the most of my talent and cultivated the seed that was placed in me until the last small twig has grown.
  -- Kathe Kollwitz...
• My baby took the elevator and gave me the shaft!
• Larry: Well, how 'bout it, Pop? I know it's tough, but can you love me for what I am?
  [cops a smirk] Burns: Uh... well... uh... [hugs Larry] There there, sonny boy....
• Theme music from Peter Gunn:) My name is David. What people call me is something else entirely.
  I'm a P.I. It says so on my door. I would have been here to take your call, but then....
• Flick Lives! (my wife told me to use this...)