Related:

• I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver. -- Phil Harri
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• My hotel room is so small that when I die they won't have to put me in a casket.
  They'll just put handles on the room. -- Herb Shrine...
• HAGGIS A Scottish dish made of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep, chopped up with suet, onions, oatmeal etc, seasoned and boiled in a sheep's stomach-bag or substitute.
  I think I'm going to be sick. Have you ever considered the argument that vomit is a lifeform in itself, subject to the same foibles as the rest of lifekind?...
• Everybody has got to die, but I have always believed an exception would be made in my case.
  Now what?" --William Saroyan, writer, 1908-1981...
• You are old, father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white
  And yet you incessantly stand on your head -- Do you think, at your age, it is right?...
• All the lines have been written There's been Sandburg, It's sad but it's true Keats, Poe and McKuen With all the words gone, They all had their day What's a young poet to do?
  And knew what they're doin' But of all the words written The bird is a strange one, And all the lines read, So small and so tender There's one I like most, Its breed still unknown, And by a bird it was said!...
• My dad told me, "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." I waited until I was fifteen.
• People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff.
  I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy -- and I keep it in a jar on my desk....