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• A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
  -- Joan Rive...
• Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
  -- Joan Rive...
• Two is company. Three is fifty bucks. -- Joan Rive
• Larchmont is so tiny there's a mirror at one end. -- Joan Rive
• Two weeks after I was born my mother tried to have an abortion .
  .. When you're not wanted they never like you. All I heard when I grew up wa...
• She saw a sign saying, "Wet Floor." So she did! -- Joan Rive
• There's a little picture of ED MCMAHON doing BAD THINGS to JOAN RIVERS in a $
  200,000 MALIBU BEACH HOUSE!! -- Zippy the Pinhead...
• Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
  -- Joan Crawford...