Related:

• New release: Abortions are becoming so popular in some countries that the waiting time to get one is lengthening rapidly.
  Experts predict that at this rate there will soon be an up to a one year wait....
• A man, who not being certain of an item he reads in the newspaper, buys 100 copies of the paper to reassure himself of its truth.
  -- "I Think Therefore I Laugh" by John Allen Paulo...
• A statistician refuses to fly after reading the alarmingly high probability that there will be a bomb on any given plane.
  Later he finds that the probability of there being two bombs on any given flight is very low....
• lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Well, that's it.
  Old Fred [?] is standing by, we'll get some coffee, we'll get some matzo-ball soup....
• Skinner: [over PA] Attention, students. It's time once again to choose a gym class for the coming term so let's all prove how adult we can be by filing to the gym in a calm and orderly manner.
  ..even though it's first come, first serve, and the most popular sports fill up fast....
• Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite different.
  Test scores are at an all-time low, so I've come up with these academic alerts....
• Ms.M: So y = r^3/3. And if you determine the rate of change in this curve correctly, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
  Class: [chuckles] Ms.M: Don't you get it, Bart? Derivative dy = 3 r^2 / 3, or r^2 dr, or r dr r....