Related:

• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• George's friend Sam had a dog who could recite the Gettysburg Address.
  Let me buy him from you," pleaded George after a demonstration....
• My friend and his wife stayed in a hotel and got a bill for ninety dollars.
  He screamed, "For what, ninety dollars?" The desk clerk said, "For room and board, sir....
• I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.
  One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing....
• The price of Christmas toys is outrageous--a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters.
  I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid....
• Joe and Willie were partners in the fur business, and they agreed that whichever one died fi
  he other would place one thousand dollars in the coffin of the deceased to cover whatever expenses came up in the next world....
• Harris had the beefstead pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George and I were waiting with our plates ready.
  "Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help the gravy with....