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• Here 's to the maiden of bashful fifteen; Here 's to the widow of fifty
  Here 's to the flaunting, extravagant quean, And here 's to the housewife that 's thrifty!...
• I won! I won!
• Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything as mind-bogglingly useful as the Babel fish could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the NON-existence of God.
  "The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing....
• His faith, perhaps, in some nice tenets might Be wrong
  his life, I 'm sure, was in the right. -- Abraham Cowley (1618-1667) -- On the Death of Crashaw...
• Selma: Wait a minute. It says here you're single. Ha
  Did I do wrong? -- You sure did, "Selma's Choice...
• I have a funny daddy Who goes in and out with me And everything that baby does Daddy's sure to see, And everything that baby says, My daddy's sure to tell.
  You _m_u_s_t have read my daddy's verse. I hope he fries in Hell. -- Ogden Nash...
• The old American way to spell cheese was K-R-A-F-T. Now, it's P-H-I-L-I-P-M-O-R-R-I-S.
• I 'll make assurance double sure, And take a bond of fate.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Macbeth -- Act iv, Sc. 1...
• Macb. If we should fail? Lady M. We fail! But screw your courage to the sticking-place, And we 'll not fail.
  -- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Macbeth -- Act i, Sc. 7...