Related:

• Bart: [reading] "BEER GOGGLES: See life through the eyes of a drunk.
  [puts them on] [Selma becomes a foxy lady] Selma...
• Lisa: Aunt Selma? Selma: [grunt] Lisa: Do you think you'll ever married?
  Selma: [sadly] Oh, I don't know. [perks up] Why?...
• Selma: Thank you, doctor. Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor.
  -- But I play one on TV!, "Selma's Choice...
• Selma: Get out of my car. [drives off] Hans: This isn't my house.
  -- Selma ends a date, "Selma's Choice...
• Selma: How do you do it, Homer? Homer: You take an ordinary bedsheet, fold it around like th-- Selma
  No, I mean raising kids! I just couldn't cut it today....
• Marge: [bright] Well, as Jerry Lee Lewis would say, "There's a whole lotta frownin' going on".
  [laughs, then says "Mmm..."] Lisa: Mom, doesn't _any_ love story have a happy ending?...
• Selma: Surly, can't you do something. Surly: Ey, Surly only looks out for one guy -- Surly.
  Selma: Hm, sorry, Surly. Surly: Shut up! -- Don't mess with Surly, "Selma's Choice...
• Bart: I want to get off. Selma: You _can't_ get off, we have five more continents to visit.
  -- The kids and Selma ride "Little Land of Duff", "Selma's Choice...
• Selma: Sorry, my mind's made up. Patty: Why do you want to have a baby so bad?
  Selma: I got a lot of love to give, and right now my only outlet is my ham radio....