Related:

• A successful man is one who can make enough money so that his wife can spend all she wants.
  A successful women is a woman who can find such a man....
• A fake fortune teller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight.
  Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved....
• COBOL - A plump secretary. She talks far too much, and most of what she says can be ignored.
  She works hard and long hours, but can't handle really complicated jobs....
• She shoots <yes women can shoot< She SCORES!!! -- Hockey can be like sex
• After Mike walked out, she decided to give up Men and raise chickens.
  Chickens didn't stay out all night, or come home drunk, or sleep with your best girlfriend....
• She states that her husband took downers and she took uppers so the relationship did not work out.
• She's so ugly that not even the tide would take her out.
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• She twists and she whirls as she dances it all away...