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Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm Afraid I'm Gonna Wind Up An Old Maid.
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Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up an old maid.
Groucho: Well, bring her in and we'll wind her up together.
Nurse Donna: Do you believe in computer dating?
Groucho: Only if the computers really love each other.
Related:
Nurse Donna: Oh, Groucho, I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up an old maid.
Groucho: Well, bring her in and we'll wind her up together....
G M: So, Mrs. Smith, do you have any children? S
Yes, thirteen. G M: Thirteen! Good lord, isn't that a burden?...
On the old "You Bet Your Life" program, Groucho Marx was getting to know one of his contestants.
The man told Groucho that he had 10 children. "Why so many children?...
Nurse: [answers phone] Simpson. Grampa: Hot diggity!
I don't care if it's bad news! Lisa: Oh, Grampa!...
Dick: Well, my time's almost up here, so, uh, I'd just like to say.
..I know Woody Allen. [a couple of people clap halfheartedly] Home...
Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
I am a Marxist--of the Groucho tendency.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. -- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)